Death To The Fanfiction Personas
by FallenAngel Kit
Summary: I examine each and every KH fanon persona and show why its wrong. This week? Sora's Pants-on-head retardness.


**Fallen: Now, because I enjoy inflicting punishment upon my readers, time for me to make you feel embarrassed about what YOU write!**

**Sora: How?**

**Fallen: I'm gonna have new chapter every week or so, with a different fanfiction persona!**

**Sora: So like my retardness?**

**Fallen: Yeah, nobody is sure if it's canon or not. Having recently played the GAME I know you're not retarded. But EVERYBODY ELSE smoked hefty amounts of crack, so that the parts where you were a TINY BIT stupid became blown out of fuckin' proportion.**

**Sora: ...Seriously?  
**

**Fallen: Yep!**

**Sora: And you'll try to fix this?**

**Fallen: DAMN STRAIGHT!  
**

**Sora: THANK GOD! Now I can stop being PANTS ON HEAD RETARDED! Fallen doesn't own KH.**

**

* * *

**Sora was walking along whistling. Blissfully unaware that his world was about to be rocked. And not that good kinda rock, with hot girls and awesome music. The bad kind, where we want to curl up into a ball in die. Yes, Sora was about to be introduced to....

His fanfiction self.

Fear not reader, Sora will survive. But, alas... Will his sanity be intact?

Sora sighed. Saving the galaxy was nice and all. But you DO get bored... So, he walked around for a bit. And walked. And walked. Then, suddenly...

SCHWORP!

Sora growled and yelled, "CUT!" I sighed, knowing that I was about to be treated to a tantrum, or as some fondly call them, a Soratrum. Sora glared at me. I sighed. "What is it NOW Sora?" Sora

glared. "SCHWORP IS NOT A WORD!" I sighed. "I said it is. STFU. ACTION!"

Sora panicked, then saw a thing emerge out of the Schworphole. It was.... It was.....

Him?

Sora frowned. "Well this can't be good. Either this is a bizzare portrayal of myself in a crappy universe, or I'm going insane." The reader laughs at the thought of Sora being smart. But then the thing stands up.

"Hi! My name is Sora! I like cheese! Cupcakes! ZEEKYBOOGYDOOG!" It smiled goofily. Sora stared at it. "...Wut." The... THING then jumped around and said, "Fish is blue! I saved the worlds! Or did they save themselves!?!??! YIPEE KAY-AY MOTHER FUCKER!"

Sora slowly backed away. Maybe if he pretended it wasn't there it would go away.....

"HAI! I LOVE YOU YOU LOVE ME!" Or not. Sora stared at it and shouted, "What ARE you?!?!?!" The thing suddenly became serious. "I'm what you act like in fanfiction." Sora was shocked. "... Seriously?" The thing nodded. "Yes. An author is trying to make people realize several things, and the best way is to write how they do." Sora looked thoughtful. Yes he can do that. Y'know why? Cause Sora, is not, unlike popular belief, a freakin' moron.

"Very well." The thing continued. "REDGREENBLUEVIOLETWHITEXYZ! That's the colors of the alphabet! I hope you love me! DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!?!?!??!" Sora sighed, and decided to put this thing out of its misery. He took out the Ultima weapon, and burned it to a crisp with Firaga.

Sora shuddered. "Glad that's over." then the thing jumped back up. "Hey! That's fire! Fire is hot! I should've died! Wait, what's death? Oooooooooh something shiny!" The thing trotted after the said shinyness and left our hero feeling rather bemused, but mostly confused.

* * *

**Fallen: Done. I love writing this kind of stuff. Most of it never gets published, but you guys KNOW Sora isn't an idiot.**

**Readers: We do?**

**Fallen: Yes you do.**

**Sora: So what else didja cover in this chapter?  
**

**Fallen: This chapter covers two of my least favorite things ever. Pants-on head retardness from actually PRETTY GODDAMNED smart characters (Liked to've seen YOU save the galaxy. Twice.) AND people thinking that if you throw pop-culture references/memes/lolcats/cheese/words with no context randomly throughout your story, its funny. ITS NOT. STOP IT. SAYING THIS IS SPARTA EVERY TIME SOMEONE SAYS MADNESS ISN'T FUNNY. A few references now and then is fine, but LOADS of em? No. Just no.  
**


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